I just wanted to write to you to say hello and remind you of your old self. You're currently sitting at your mum and dad's. Your mum is writing Christmas cards and your dad's in the chair reading the paper. Your brother's just texted you from the other side of the world to wish you well and you've received so much support from your friends today. Your lovely Tom has just rung you to tell you he loves you and is on his way home from Birmingham. Your colleagues have been so kind to you today and you told everyone to brace themselves in case you react badly to the drugs.
You've done all your Christmas shopping (except for Tom) and you've had a brilliant day at work getting lots done. Your house is all nice and tidy and you're going for a run later.
I'm telling you this to remind that you are loved, your life is very happy and that if you feel rotten on the drugs and turn into Mrs Shoutycrackers, it's just the drugs not you. If you cry, if you moan, if you shout at Tom, think that no one understands, feel down and hurt and misunderstood, read this and remember the support of today.
Everyone wants you to be well. Everyone wants you to be happy and everyone loves both you and Tom. There is nothing to be scared of in terms of you and Tom, nothing to worry about and everything will be fine, even if you go through the heartbreak of it not working, there are people there who love you
I know you are scared and you are putting on a brave face for everyone but you can cry if you want to. What you're doing IS a scary thing and you don't have to shoulder it on your own. Yes, you might not feel like yourself for a while but think about why you are doing it. You love Tom and you both want a baby and a family so much. You both ARE capable of getting through this and however much it may not feel like it, you will both be fine. Don't push Tom away, if he didn't love you so much, he wouldn't be going through this process.
So my lovely, chin up, we'll meet again when this is all over. I'll be the one holding the smile that might be missing off your face for the next few weeks.
There's nothing you can't tackle our kid.
Take care and I'll see you again soon.