Tuesday, 29 September 2009

You write about yourself on a blog. It is like a diary. It is bound to be mostly about yourself thus you may appear self obsessed!

I did not "invite" people to come on here. I ended the last blog as I didn't enjoy or gain anything positive from nasty comments. This one was only sent to people who identified themselves via email to me. This is why I don't understand why you are posting as negatively as anonymous when you must have initially contacted me directly.

I sent the link in good faith to people who I thought were genuine and supportive. I am not asking the world to agree with every decision I make, neither am I inviting some sort of virtual fan club. If I did that then I would make the whole thing public. As it stands, whoever you are, you have totally missed the point of why I set up this second blog.

I have made many new friends via my blog, many of whom I have met up with for real. People who were ready to identify themselves so they could not hide behind the anonymity were more than welcome to join me on the second one. Many positive "anonymous" comments are also accompanied by an email to my email address saying who it was that posted and saying they had trouble logging in. It is not that I only invite positive comment.

I do not advertise this blog or encourage others to join in any way. If you wish to remain anonymous and continue to judge me as if you have some god given right to know me better than my family, friends, colleagues, fertility doctors and the fertility counselling team then I do believe it may be you that needs a reality check.

I am not a heroine in any way shape or form. I reacted badly to a horrible situation. I am lucky that the situation has resolved itself. I am more than aware that terrible things happen to people all of the time. I do not broadcast myself via this blog, simply invited a group of people who would be supportive and helpful whilst I deal with the road of infertility.

Life never seems to work out the way anyone plans it. I am not a victim, nor a heroine. I'm trying to live my life in the best way I can.

If you don't wish to be supportive then this is not the right place for you. There are more than enough mudslingers in the world.

Look my mum in the eye, tell her she's not ready to support a grandchild or her own daughter in becoming a mother. Tell my dad that you think his daughter's unstable. Tell Tom you think I'm not over ST. No, thought you wouldn't in "real life" so please don't do it on here.


  1. Oh that’s so rubbish that people feel the need to still try to belittle you life and hopes. If they were so adamant that what they are saying is true why do they feel the need to post anonymously?

    Do you use any stat counters? Try installing www.blogpatrol.com. That way you can see exactly who is reading your blog, their location, ip address etc and also the path they came from to find your blog...it may be that they have stumbled across your blog accidentally and so are making assumptions only from the last few posts.

    Try not to let it get to you! At the end of the day only you and Tom know what is right for you. Finger crossed for your IVF!


  2. sorry but why would you bother to keep reading this blog if Emmy's life clearly frustrates you and pisses you off? I think it's you who needs therapy love not Emmy - you clearly have some weird obsession with her!

    Emmy just to let you know that anyone can find the new thread because if you click on your followers and look at blogs they are following it gives the direct link to both the old one and the new so you wouldn't have necessarily e-mailed this person the link they would have just found it.

    I know it must be incredibly hard to have negative comments but by replying and creating blogs especially to answer these horrible people then you are just encouraging them further, click delete when the crap comments come in and try not to let it work you up so much. x

  3. There is likely a setting where you can check the comments before they are posted. I have that on my blog.

    I do a blog and I'm not selfish...my doctor told me it was a great way to be theraputic when going through difficult times. If you haven't had difficult times the last 2 years, I don't know what difficult is.

    I would also think that you should be able to show when you and ST separated (though not divorced) and there shouldn't be a paper trail of who you were dating then. That might get you close enough to the 2 years to make it work for you. I have dealt with infertility for almost 5 years and I just got pregnant from a frozen embryo transfer...it can happen for you too!

  4. Dear anon,

    I am a stranger and I will happily judge you even if Emmy won't. My sister has recently undergone IVF treatment after being in a 13 year relationship (6 of it married), it failed. Her husband and herself have now divorced partly through the stress of not being able to conceive and partly because the situation brought out a side in her husband she had not seen before and could not live with. He buggered off to Australia, leaving her to organise everything on her own here. He is now going to be a father to some other womans baby after being told the chances of his sperm reaching anything were about as likely as the pope having a stag do.

    I am also from a broken home, my parents divorced when I was 8. My dad re-married, this ended in divorce also. My mother suffered 2 anneurysms, a haemmorage, a heart attack, had a shunt fitted, had two grand mal seizures and was diagnosed epileptic in the space of a year in 2006/2007. She was 57, I was 16 and I was the one who found her unconcious as it was only the 2 of us living together.

    My father is an alcoholic, my brother who is 37 is in an unhappy relationship and has a child who has ADHD. My sister is now suffering some form of depression but is unwilling to admit to it. Try to get close to her and she pushes away.

    I went through a rough patch as a kid, going around with a very bad crowd, teen pregnancy and drugs were involved, although I never really touched them. And this my friend, is the very tip of the iceberg.

    I now go to University on a highly respected course which needs 3 A's at A Level to get into. I am in a 2 year relationship with someone who was bullied by their family when they were younger and turned to drugs and attempted suicide to cope. He is now also at University with me and he thanks me for his new outlook on life. I hold down a part time job (and have done since I was 13) and I hope to have a bright future where I can put all of my life experience into practice, believe me I've had a lot at 19.

    I've not done too badly then eh??

    The reason I am telling you all of this is because ignorant, small minded people such as yourself infuriate me. I am letting you know that we all live in the real world. Shit happens on a daily basis. But we deal with it, we move on and it doesn't make us a bad person. You don't always take your baggage with you, it can make you more understanding and considerate of others.

    I'm certain your life has been far from rosey, perhaps you are so judgemental because you can not face your own truths. Or perhaps you have led a truly blessed life and in that case I am more sorry for you as I think what we go through in life makes us the people we become, and you have clearly become an uncaring, insesitive prat.

    If you have followed this blog from the beginning you will see just what this amazing woman has accomplished in her life and how strong she is. Better yet she still has a fantastic sense of humour regarding what she has been through and when idiots like yourself think it is ok to personally attack her private and emotional experiences she treats you with far more grace and respect than I ever could. I think it is you who needs the help. (Either that or you are ST trying to justify your crappy existence)

    If you want to see unstable people who don't deserve children and who call themselves "settled" in a relationship after six months, who use drugs around their kids, don't know who the father is, scrounge off the tax payer and are uneducated and aggressive then I suggest you watch Jeremy Kyle. You would simply love it!!

    Emmy - ignore those whose only purpose is to bring you down, think of them as sandpaper. Eventually they will be worn out and ugly, but you will be shiny and polished!

  5. Emmy, I'm so sorry, love. Is there any way you can turn on IP logging? Then you'd be able to tally up IP addresses and see if this Anonymous is anyone who is on one hand supporting you, and on the other, dishing out hurtful comments.

    Mrs Dunsmore (yayw)

  6. Rachel - what a lovely sentiment, I may have to steal it "ignore those whose only purpose is to bring you down, think of them as sandpaper. Eventually they will be worn out and ugly, but you will be shiny and polished!"

    Emmy, I haven't posted here for a while (and still can't remember my darn log in details!) but I stop by several times a week to see if you have any updates.

    You are a strong person and you are a role model - you demonstrate that it is possible to work through the crud that life throws at you and I only wish that I can be half as strong as you should life throw some crud my way!

    Chin up, ignore the haters (get me being all ghetto!) and keep posting!

    Mrs Salsaspin

  7. I am really sorry to hear the latest bad news that has been heaped on you.

    And please ignore the person who seems intent on trashing you at everyturn.

    I wish you all the best, and i hope that you consultant has a way around the current IVF regs in mind for you both. Personally i dont fancy having kids around me but i accept that children bring something special to your world.

    Without sounding callous re the chances of IVF but if that isnt possible would you both consider adoptation/fostering? I know some people can not consider adoptation if they cant have their own children but is it something you could if biological children are totally out of the equation
    there are lots of children as i am sure you aware out there that need the loving and caring home that you and your family can provide.

    Liz (Z750Girl from YAYW)

  8. Hey :)

    I was so disappointed to come to see your new digs only to find that the cretins had followed you here. People like this want a reaction from you and your readers, you should not lower yourself to even respond to the kind hate they are sending you my lovely.


  9. Hey, I cannot believe that someone who has obviously wanted to follow your story can now be so rude and unsupportive all under anonymity.

    Emmy I too at the moment feel exactly how you do about a baby and under a fertility specialist playing a waiting game so know exactly how you feel. I found a video the other day that decirbed exactly how I feel and thought you may like to see it too.


    Keep strong xxx

  10. Dear Emmy, I havent posted in a while but i have read your blog. I don't know why people feel its their right to comment on how you have reacted to a particular situation! Everyone is different and reacts differently, my mum suffered from paranoia for a while after getting extremely stressed with some very rogue traders and bitchy work collegues all at once, , and she is a very strong woman normally! and a good thing that is too! Imagine a world full of ST clones *shudders*?! What an awful world that would be. You were just unlucky and met a ratbag before meeting Tom.

    I agree with the others, you post on here, a place meant for support so i dont see why people who have no wish to support you even bother posting.

    Anyway hopefully the IVF will sort itself out (if you email me your home address (if you dont mind) i would like to send you a lucky duck :) ).

    And lastly ...... Illegitimi non carborundum ..... latin for "Don't let the bastards grind you down!"