So, it's Thursday, i've spent half my day up to my eyes in the Midlands' most revolting beige buffet at my Y6 party buffet twinned with a multitude of tutus and pirate hats in the school paly and the other half talking about babies, sex and gynaecology. I feel I could go on Mastermind with my specialist subject as "cross sections of my own womb".
I've been very naughty and been back at work since Wednesday afternoon. I just couldn't let all that hard work go to waste so i bought my colleagues who had been holding the fort a crate of beer and a bunch of flowers and rocked up ready to assist with the performances. I did the matinee yesterday and an evening performance and then another one tonight. It was fabulous. The 87 kids in the show really rose to the occasion and despite one cross dressing fairy falling off the back of the stage and the Emperor saying all his lines correctly but in the wrong order it was a triumph. My male colleague who's a tough six foot Kiwi triathlete bought me a bouquet of flowers tonight and had the kids present them to me after the show. I was so moved I almost cried but blamed it on the spotlight being in my eyes. The children looked amazing in their costumes and so many of the parents came up to say thank you for managing to get back in and making the effort as word had got round that I hadn't been well. It really was one of those moments when I realise I do the best job in the world - smiling happy kids and proud parents watching their babies perform all brave and confident.
Anyway, I'd had a bit of a mad dash back from the hospital as I got caught up in the rush hour traffic so was bolting down my Boots meal deal and managed to get pineapple slices wedged down my shirt and half a tomato and bean salsa sandwich in my lap so I must have looked to the parents like I'd crawled out of a skip.
The appointment itself was OK but the outcome's a bit of a mixed bag. I met Tom by the car park and in the blazing sunshine he had decided to bring an umbrella for some reason and also what every IVF patient requires in a waiting room which is a packet of chocolate buttons and a packet of fruit pastilles. Unfortunately my mouth was as dry as our school sand pit so i couldn't manage anything. I was also not particularly enamoured by the copy of our local paper which had a picture of our local counsellor going down a slide on it. Surely there's more news round our way or do i really live in Britain's most boring city where the only news is of a middle aged politician getting himself wedged on a children's slide, waving both thumbs up for the camera?
We were ushered in by a nurse for our initial tests which were, let me tell you, utterly degrading and vile. Guess what i had to do?
I had to be weighed in front of Tom and have it read out.
Now i don't know about you but I always remove half a stone when telling a partner about my weight; I guess it's the female equivalent of boasting about your dangly bits but I was horrified when the jolly nurse asked me to "hop on" and Tom waited expectantly, holding my handbag. I tried to remove my sandals (jacket, hair slide, watch, trousers - anything which might be adding to the weight) but to no avail. I was pronounced as being 59 kilograms. Now, this woman was so flippin loud I'm surpised she didn't alert the local paper so that they could replace the picture of the local councillor on the slide with that of one of my and my gigantic backside next to the scales. Tom raised an eyebrow and for one horrible moment I thought he might be about to question the scales but luckily he was then asked to get on - still holding my handbag! (For those of you who are sticklers for detail, Tom was 84KG.) God knows why they wanted to weigh him - half his bodyweight would have been sweets from in the waiting room anyway.
We eventually got called into a different room to see the consultant who was an aboslute treasure. She was so calm, patient and completely unflappable. She answered all of our questions and then repeated half of them because i wasn't listening as I was so nervous - I couldn't concentrate and she could have been speaking Ancient Greek for all I knew!
Anyway, the upshot is that I have to have surgery on 24th August. According to all of my results from the weekend and previous tests, apparently my left ovary is twisted and stuck to the back of my womb with scar tissue from the infection I had after my appendix was botched. I have got to have a laparoscopy to flush some dye through both of my fallopian tubes to double check for blockages and then have the stuck and twisted ovary investigated. It will either be freed and nudged back into the right place or if it's damaged from the sticking or the infection then they'll remove it. They'll also look at freeing up some of the other sticky adhesions om the right hand side which they think may well be the source of my pain as they keep "catching and sticking then tearing off" other parts of me. This apparently explains why the pain is so severe but then disappears when the adhesion moves. If I have this problem with the one ovary sorting out and untwisting then, according to my consultant, it would increase my chances of conceiving naturally but they will still put me forward for IVF which is great news.
The consultant said that our first round in this case would probably be before Christmas, depending on my recovery time from the op in August. They're also going to notify me if a sooner date turns up which would be even better as I don't really want surgery hanging over me for too long. I'd rather get it done as early as possible to save my nerves and Tom's teeth (he eats sweets when he gets nervous).
Anyway, if surgery can be seen as a good thing then this is definitely good news. All I know is that it is certainly a step in the right direction and if ever I needed to tread a new path then this is it!
So, I'm going to sign off now as I have to go and put together a powerpoint photo montage for my Y6 leavers' assembly and then collapse as I have a hot date with the sofa and a cup of tea.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Just wanted to say thank you too for all the lovely e-mails I've received. I'm thinking of printing them all off and keping to read whenever this whole baby business or life in general gets me down as it's been amazing to be absolutely inundated with postivity. If I wasn't such a double hard cookie then I might admit that some of them actually made me cry. To think of so many people enjoying my boring ramblings is one thing but to think that so many of you are such lovely people that you'll take time out of your day to wish me well and say such encouraging things is truly uplifting. It was so lovely to hear from a lot of "old faces" from YAYW that I didn't think still read - people who were planning weddings the same time as my ill fated one to ST as well as hearing from people who have only just stumbled across my rocky little road. Thank you so much to all of you who have been in touch and I gave you all a little wink as I went into the IVf today (I hear this activates good baby luck which I have received so much of!).
Thank you too for all those people who have shared their sadder experiences with me. Some of you really have got it tough at the moment and I send you my very very best wishes and lots of love. I'm glad that reading all this makes you smile - chin up ladies; we can conquer anything. Girl Power! (God I'm showing my age there again).
Anyway, thanks so much again and do keep popping on to say hi; it's nice to know who my fellow travellers are, especially now we've taken a detour!