Monday, 28 December 2009

Bored, bored, bored, bored....

On the first day of Christmas, Santa gave to me...
An embryo in a test tube

On the second day of Christmas, Santa gave to me...
Two days on the sofa and
an embryo in a test tube.

On the third day of Christmas, Santa gave to me...
Three medications per day
two days on the sofa and
an embryo in a test tube

One the fourth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me
Four festive days without a drink
Three medications per day
two days on the sofa and
an embryo in a test tube

On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me
5 days gone so far!
Four festive days without a drink
Three medications per day
two days on the sofa and
an embryo in a test tube.

As you can see, I have a little bit of time on my hands and I am bored out of my mind. I can see why IVF sends you round the bend; it's nothing to do with the rollercoaster of hormones, it's just so sodding tiresome! You can't run about, go to the gym, lift anything, have a drink or generally have a suitably festive time and you're so bloated that you feel like you've swallowed a space hopper.

I finally cracked yesterday though and started back with my usual day to day stuff. I managed to stay sofa-bound for all of the 23rd December after the transfer and for most of the 24th but was up and doing on Christmas day and have gradually been staging up the activity since then which culminated in yesterday. I entered hell itself yesterday and battled against the elements and the local chav population to brave Tesco. Gosh that was an error. It was like an episode of robot wars as trolleys just trundled wildly round the aisles, randomly bashing into stuff with loads of kids just yelling and bawling. I have no idea why people were having to do major food shops just days after Christmas and why people were shoving their trolleys full of selection boxes; is there a national chocolate shortage coming up which I know nothing about? Is it time to start hoarding flakes and stockpiling snickers bars? Oddly enough, the fruit and veg section was deserted so I was able to peruse the exotic fruits in blessed seclusion and enjoy a good squeeze of a mango or two and a snigger at some oddly shaped root vegetables.

My trip was because during the night I must have been visited by three spirits, the ghost of Christmas cooking past, the ghost of Christmas cooking present and the ghost of Christmas cooking future... They left me fired up with a strange urge to cook up a real storm. This led to me battling through Tesco and then turning my kitchen into an industrial cooking station. I now have a freezer full to bursting with over 20 tupperware boxes (yes 20) of the following... (all home made completely from scratch with no packet help at all I'd like to point out!)

  1. Roast red pepper and tomato soup
  2. Winter vegetable stew
  3. Chilli
  4. Bolognaise
  5. Roast sweet pepper and chilli soup
  6. Butternut squash, spinach and coconut curry with coriander

My fridge and frezer are now groaning under the weight of my offerings and I feel better as I have something in my house other than chocolate and crisps and I've got a load of healthy food ready for when I start back at work. I am now off to wash up my halo...

I am convinced the IVF hasn't worked though and this is not just me being negative. I've had so much pain since the egg collection and transfer that I just don't see how anything can stick in there. I don't mean I've been writhing around in agony (I haven't even taken any painkillers) but I'm so swollen up and keep getting these really sharp cramps that I'm unsure as to how anything can "stick" in there.

It also didn't help that on my way into the car on Christmas Eve there was a little bit of an incident... I had stayed wrapped up on the sofa all day , not moving at all and then later on, gingerly got myself glammed up ready to go to my uncle's for the Estonian chaos. I put on a fab one shoulder red dress, white furry cropped jacket and some sequinned heels and wrapped myself up in a cream faux fur blanket to get in the car (the hospital told me to avoid extremes of temperature and it was like Siberia outside the house). I took one step outside the back door and found myself in a heap on the floor. I hadn't even managed one complete step away from the doormat before I toppled over onto the driveway in a heap of furry blanket. I can categorically state that sequinned heels and black ice are not good friends. As I hadn't been out in the last 48 hours, I hadn't experienced the sheet ice that was my driveway. I ended up in a heap and I thought Tom was going to blow a gasket.

Eventually, after quite a lot of skidding and grabbing hold of the conservatory wall, we all managed to get wedged into Dad's Mondeo. along with the cooked turkey, a saucepan of gravy and a whole cooked joint of pork and crackling. Does anyone else's family ever travel with so much meat? Mum was also a vision in sequins although her accessory of the pyrex bowl of sausagemeat in her lap was not one of her better fashion moments. I wrapped myself up in the seatbelt and blanket whilst Tom wedged himself in with a huge pan of stuffing on his lap.

We slid our way over to my Uncle's and had the usual Estonian family evening of enough meat to satisfy the lion enclosure at Whipsnade zoo, far too much boozing (not for me though) and a pudding that wouldn't light. It was quite sad though due to a certain absence from the Christmas table. There were a few emotional moments when it was pointed out that a certain loved one was not with us this year and I doubt we'll ever get over the fact that my uncle forgot to make the sauerkraut. It was also sad that my brother and Jo weren't there too... In the words of one of my drunken cousins when he heard there was no sauerkraut.... "Dad, you've ruined Christmas!" It was like world war three had broken out around that table and even mum's three different stuffings selection could not lighten the mood of disappointment. On the plus side, it did mean that there wasn't the usual brussel/sauerkraut fart combo which can strip wallpaper at 20 paces.

The usual neighbour dressed as Santa brought all the pressies in and we had a lovely time unwrapping them all. My favourite was one from my uncle to Tom which was a porn mag, a packet of tissues and a mirror - he had been told the horror story of the "men's room" at the hospital!

We had a taxi home and I must admit that I was absolutely shattered when I got in. Tom and I were still in separate rooms as Tom's snoring is worse than ever at the moment and sleeping next to a jackhammer would be easier to drop off with at the moment. He woke me up on Christmas morning with my breakfast (and another of those awful pessaries) on a tray as well as a load of pressies. I was a very very very very lucky girl as I got...

A pair of platinum and diamond stud ear rings
A day for two at Nirvana spa with loads of treatments
A bluetooth headset
A bottle of Chanel number 5
A bottle of "Lovely"
Some i pod accessories
Loads of choccies
Tickets to see Ocean Colour Scene (best band in the world!)

I was thoroughly pampered by my lovely Tom and we had a lovely present swap and cup of tea in bed. ( had somehow managed to purchase 14 pressies for Tom as I'd started buying them in August - how sad am I...) I couldn't stop laughing again at when Santa had tried to leave but had been fed so much rum by my Uncle that he fell over a load of boxes in the hall. (no one leaves my family dos vertical!)

We went to Tom's mum's for Christmas dinner and had a lovely relaxing day again. She had an absolute houseful and my parents came over later in the day too. I doubt I will ever recover from my mum doing canoeing on the wii with Tom's uncle Howard. If the IVF doesn't work, I blame that 20 minutes entirely as I almost required oxygen I was laughing so hard.

Boxing day was Tom at the football and me at Mum's with my Dad's twin and my aunty. By this time I thought I was going to go mad with all the sitting about so I agreed with Tom that we'd go for walk the next day. So, we had a lovely 6 mile stroll to a nearby national park and a good tramp through the coountryside. I felt so much better afterwards and actually regained the circulation in my backside as I've had "numb bum" from sitting down so much.

Anyway, I did my marathon cooking session yesterday then met a friend in the pub for a few drinks last night as Tom was working late. I can't believe that I've still got 6 days to wait until I get anything confirmed so I do actually think I will be going round the bend in some way fairly soon. Am even going to start my schoolwork today as I'm so bored!

So, if you feel the need to drop me an e-mail or comment, don't fight it as I'm climbing the walls here. It's so icy and slippy here today that I daren't go out today so I'm like a little old housebound lady.

Here's hoping you all had a fab Christmas and that Santa brought you everything you could possibly wish for. Keep warm in the meantime and I'll keep you posted on the progress of the fragglebaublebaby. Do you think I should buy an early pregnancy test???



  1. So glad you had a good Christmas & were deservedly spoilt rotton.

    Sending you lots of positive thoughts and sticky dust.

    Much love

    Mrs Salsaspin xxx

  2. Hey hun,

    All the best with number one! :) I hope everything goes well- your presents sound lovely :) Bless Tom, he clearly loves you to pieces.

    I know you must be fretting about the pregnancy thing, but I am sending you lots of pregnancy wishes and really hope for the best.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep us updated.

    All my love,


  3. nooooooooooo don't be tempted wait for when you're supposed to, hormones double every 48 hours if all ok - won't be high enough until at least 12 days after!!
    you don't want a false neg to make you all disappointed, good luck xxx stephy